I’m Tougher Than You, and I’ll Cry to Prove It

By Matt Stone

I’m tougher than you.
Not because I don’t feel things, but because I do, and I don’t outsource the responsibility.

Real toughness isn’t silence. Silence is easy. Silence is compliance. Silence is how systems keep moving while people quietly rot.

I’ve been around men who pride themselves on never crying. They’re not strong, they’re managed. They’ve learned which emotions are acceptable and which ones threaten the structure they’re inside. That’s not resilience. That’s training.

Strength used to mean capacity: the ability to carry weight, absorb impact, and still act with intention. Somewhere along the way, it got replaced with performance. A tight jaw. A flat voice. No visible interior life.

That version of masculinity is incredibly useful...to systems.

Men who don’t feel don’t ask questions.
Men who don’t grieve don’t slow down.
Men who don’t cry don’t interrupt momentum.

Show me an institution that praises stoicism, and I’ll show you one that profits from emotional suppression.

Here’s the part people miss: crying isn’t collapse.
Avoiding emotion is.

Anyone can shut down. Anyone can numb out. It takes real strength to stay present when your body wants to flee, whether that’s from fear, grief, shame, or love.

I’ve cried after violence.
I’ve cried after loss.
I’ve cried because something beautiful didn’t survive contact with the world.

And then I got up and did the work anyway.

That’s the difference.

Vulnerability doesn’t mean bleeding everywhere. It means accuracy. It means not lying to yourself about what something cost you. Emotional honesty is not weakness, it’s load-bearing.

The men I respect most don’t posture. They don’t brag about pain tolerance. They don’t confuse repression with discipline. They know exactly what they feel, and they act anyway.

If that scares you, ask why.

Because a man who can feel fully and still stand upright is very hard to control.

I’m not interested in being invulnerable.
I’m interested in being unbreakable, and those are not the same thing.

So yeah.
I’m tougher than you.

And if I cry while saying it, that’s just proof I’m telling the truth.